The Catholic Church has been under microscope for some time. Particularly the role the last Pope in his slow investigation and purposeful blocking of paedophilia which has happened in the church. He authored a document which the Vatican kept used as a guide to covering up this heinous crime, the document is called the Crimen Sollicitationis. It was written in Latin by himself in 1962 and describes how the Catholic Church hides and protects it's own clergy who have committed paedophilia. Cardinal Ratzinger who was then re-named after election as pope to pope Benedict. Might I add elected by mortal men in a conclave at the Vatican. Much like the present pope Jorge Bergoglio renamed pope Francis.
Children and the old are the vulnerable in society. As such they should be fully protected with the conscience and morality of every single person. When the law breaks down, or when organizations like the Catholic Church have protected the abusers then something is very, very wrong. Proof of this can be seen in a BBC program called Panorama in which it details how Father Fortune was able to evade detection from the police with the help of the Vatican. Who moved him around from one dioceses to another. The Catholic church instigated a wall of silence failed to turn over evidence which may have convicted father Fortune. The purposefully interfered with a criminal investigation and then stated Fortune would be judged under church law rather than the normal laws which judge the rest of us.
The pressure of this instance and many other ignorant acts by the Prada wearing Pope Benedict no doubt also added to his choice to retire and remarkable how it is the conclave in electing a new Pope chose someone who was characteristically the opposite of Ratzinger. It is still however a sad state of affairs the catholic church have failed to atone for the wrongs it has done in allowing criminal priests to get away.
I do not see how in reality a head of a Church can be allowed to dictate in this way. Whether it be through the evil of ignorance and to the power of an alleged holly organization. Ratzinger in his participation of policy making has contributed to increased incidents of paedophilia in the Catholic church. Simply priests were protected in a similar way the Mafia close ranks and put up a wall of silence. The washing has been done in public and the reality was Ratzinger's damage to the Catholic church has been more invasive than a group of atheist whores, doing business at the conclave. Which being a secretive event may actually happen each time a new Pope is voted in. One thing is for sure there will be a whole many more cardinals not voicing their happiness Ratzinger has gone.
Sunday, 31 March 2013
Toxic parents and parenting
It seems when I look around me there are a large proportion of people had dysfunctional childhoods in one form or another. Their upbringing has come from parents who do not have the emotional intelligence or adultness about them to actually act as adults. At times it is like children raising children. The values of motherly or fatherly love are entwined in their own self esteem, and rather than being unconditional they are fully and completely conditional. Where a child seems no more than a necessary object in their lives, one which defines them amongst their peers. A child is something which tags along, holding a hand, it is an explicit show of who they are, of their place in society. It says "I am a mother/father and am responsible and caring." Which in reality can be quite the opposite. A child brings other advantages as well, financial assistance, emotional , social (against fear of loneliness) and a scape goat for everything. Financial assistance which comes from the welfare state in the form of benefits, emotional because the child can be hugged and social as it gives them a chance to meet other like minded families. Unfortunately those other families can both have good parents or toxic parents. Generally toxic parents can gravitate towards each other, but sometimes this is not the case and they will attach themselves as a friend to a normal parent. Hoping to get some acknowledgement they are the same when in fact they are not.
I can only speak for the working classes and the unemployable classes in this context. As I have no experience of the middle or upper classes but I'm sure toxic parenting has no discrimination. Having money doesn't inoculate against emotional dysfunction which can be transferred to children. Toxic parenting is does not effect all working class people or unemployables. The unemployables are particularly chastised by society and governments, because of their parasitic appearance. However, they probably return back into the government economy every single penny they get out of it in trying to make ends meet from day to day. The same can be said of the working classes, by virtue of low wages nearly all they earn goes on being able to survive. Yet some are happy and very good parents who aspire to love and encourage their children, something toxic parents think they do but in reality don't.
Children begin life as a blank slate. They do not have any maladaptive behaviours but in Freudian terms their early years are all self-centred. Toxic parents are like this, they carry on their self-centred attitude throughout their life. Always seeking to blame other people for their plight, always thinking of what they could of been but never were and then projecting their own ambitions and inadequacies on their children. They are of low self esteem, depressed, suffer from anxiety and are mentally insular. Their imagination to get out of their own rut does not exist. They sap and sap away looking for attention at every turn because of their plight. Then the worst thing of all they take this out on their children. Who they allege to love. Children who grow up confused, who do not understand why their adult care giver says one thing but then acts in a completely different way. A toxic parent's ultimate achievement is to make their own child like themselves. This consequently perpetuates a cycle of toxicity to yet another generation. Children however are not stupid and they grow up knowing this and learning this, some will counter it in their own ways. Unfortunately their lives, emotional, physical and psychological are owned by the parent, worse still legally owned.
There comes a point in their life when they will either allow themselves to be carried along in this behaviour or fight against it. Whether as a teenager or even many years later as an adult. They recall events and know their parents was wrong. They feel aggrieved and then are put in an emotional and psychological turmoil, trying break out. Or are pulled down into the depression of their childhood upbringing. If they think about these things too much they can result in mental illness. It is all to do with their own mental resilience and capability. Coming to this point in their life they are now at a cross road. Either they understand the toxic nature of their parent and accept it, but in doing so they will understand there are certain protective behaviours which have to put in place, they have to guard themselves and be on constant alert. As their parent gets older and more frail, they are seen pitifully but beware they will still have a vicious and spiteful tongue in their head. They further can not be trusted with grandchildren, these grand parents are seen as "nutty." Showing love in one instance and then twisting it in another, their actions are always invidious.
The worse part about toxic parenting is that no law exists against it. When considering the acts of dictators the world may act after time. With toxic parenting the cycle persists until it is broken. Until the child of a toxic parent knows certain behaviours are unacceptable and can not be carried forward. If they are lucky they can then escape to something which approaches normality. The experience and lessons of such childhoods however, are never forgotten.
I can only speak for the working classes and the unemployable classes in this context. As I have no experience of the middle or upper classes but I'm sure toxic parenting has no discrimination. Having money doesn't inoculate against emotional dysfunction which can be transferred to children. Toxic parenting is does not effect all working class people or unemployables. The unemployables are particularly chastised by society and governments, because of their parasitic appearance. However, they probably return back into the government economy every single penny they get out of it in trying to make ends meet from day to day. The same can be said of the working classes, by virtue of low wages nearly all they earn goes on being able to survive. Yet some are happy and very good parents who aspire to love and encourage their children, something toxic parents think they do but in reality don't.
Children begin life as a blank slate. They do not have any maladaptive behaviours but in Freudian terms their early years are all self-centred. Toxic parents are like this, they carry on their self-centred attitude throughout their life. Always seeking to blame other people for their plight, always thinking of what they could of been but never were and then projecting their own ambitions and inadequacies on their children. They are of low self esteem, depressed, suffer from anxiety and are mentally insular. Their imagination to get out of their own rut does not exist. They sap and sap away looking for attention at every turn because of their plight. Then the worst thing of all they take this out on their children. Who they allege to love. Children who grow up confused, who do not understand why their adult care giver says one thing but then acts in a completely different way. A toxic parent's ultimate achievement is to make their own child like themselves. This consequently perpetuates a cycle of toxicity to yet another generation. Children however are not stupid and they grow up knowing this and learning this, some will counter it in their own ways. Unfortunately their lives, emotional, physical and psychological are owned by the parent, worse still legally owned.
There comes a point in their life when they will either allow themselves to be carried along in this behaviour or fight against it. Whether as a teenager or even many years later as an adult. They recall events and know their parents was wrong. They feel aggrieved and then are put in an emotional and psychological turmoil, trying break out. Or are pulled down into the depression of their childhood upbringing. If they think about these things too much they can result in mental illness. It is all to do with their own mental resilience and capability. Coming to this point in their life they are now at a cross road. Either they understand the toxic nature of their parent and accept it, but in doing so they will understand there are certain protective behaviours which have to put in place, they have to guard themselves and be on constant alert. As their parent gets older and more frail, they are seen pitifully but beware they will still have a vicious and spiteful tongue in their head. They further can not be trusted with grandchildren, these grand parents are seen as "nutty." Showing love in one instance and then twisting it in another, their actions are always invidious.
The worse part about toxic parenting is that no law exists against it. When considering the acts of dictators the world may act after time. With toxic parenting the cycle persists until it is broken. Until the child of a toxic parent knows certain behaviours are unacceptable and can not be carried forward. If they are lucky they can then escape to something which approaches normality. The experience and lessons of such childhoods however, are never forgotten.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)